Maggie ran her hands down the southwest corner of her beach house, flaking brittle weathered paint off as she stroked. Her breath caught, touching the tiny frame that housed lifetimes within its walls.
Grams bought it when Maggie was only five years old. Memories of playing on the jewel toned circular woven rug centered in the Great Room while a crimson fire roared in front of her brought a smile to her lips.
Her lids fell closed, she breathed in the spicy sweet cinnamon hanging in the air as Grams baked in the miniature kitchen. Pots clanging, a thick wooden spoon stirring the bottom of the pot, scraping up all the bits; fresh nutmeg, grasped between paint stained fingers roughly running across the grater, dusting her latest concoction below; and Grams' off-key singing, all echoing off the mahogany wood floors and unadorned windows, circling and swirling around her.
Maggie could feel herself in the room, over twenty years ago. And she wondered what this tiny haven would hold, how many more memories she could sandwich inside, now that it was hers.
Write on Edge has prompted us to paint our setting this week, with a 200 word limit.
If this is your first time here or you haven't stopped in on a day that I'm sharing a little fiction, Maggie is one of four friends, along with Cassie, Adrianna, and Lauren.
If you are interested in more of their story, you can read about Cassie in R.S.V.P. & Kick Ass Shoes and Maggie in She Runs, Getting There & Home, and all four women in Time to Tell.
This takes place while the four women are at the beach house.
This makes me want to take a trip down to the beach!
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted a beach house. Someday...
Well done - I enjoy the way all your images run together here: "Pots clanging, a thick wooden spoon stirring the bottom of the pot, scraping up all the bits, fresh nutmeg, grasped between paint stained fingers roughly running across the grater, dusting her latest concoction below, and Grams' off-key singing, all echoing off the mahogany wood floors and unadorned windows, circling and swirling around her."
ReplyDeleteConcrit - and a very detaily one, as I really liked this post! - would be: what "jewel toned" colors are on the carpet?!?
Sweet it brought back images of my own grandmother.. I love your last line the most 'how many more memories she could sandwich inside, now that it was hers'
ReplyDeleteI want a lake house, but the appeal is the same... and now you've made me want to back something spicy and warm!
ReplyDeleteI love how this takes us back in time to revisit the same setting in a different way. Maggie's memories are written beautifully. I could picture the house (and my own grandmother bustling about) so perfectly.
ReplyDeleteThis felt perfect for me; there's nothing I would love more than a beach house. The warm scents and grandmother-associated memories were lovely, and I like the subtle transfer of ownership to Maggie wondering about new memories there.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you went for scent here- it's perfect, and drew me in perfectly!
ReplyDeleteI love the image you have created and feeling of warmth and security Maggie obviously felt at this beach house. There is something about Grandparents that is always magical.
ReplyDeleteWhile I love the imagery of this line: "Pots clanging, a thick wooden spoon stirring the bottom of the pot, scraping up all the bits, fresh nutmeg, grasped between paint stained fingers roughly running across the grater, dusting her latest concoction below, and Grams' off-key singing,"
I find the commas off putting. They don't flow together as a continuous list. Maybe break them up into a couple of groups of items that fit together really well? You don't even have to use periods, I think semi colons would work.
The imagery is amazing:) I would love to come hang out at this beach house and seen through Maggies eyes:)
ReplyDeleteHer breath caught, touching the tiny frame that housed lifetimes within its.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at that line! I love, love, love this. I actually feel like I just read the first page of a novel that I would want to read. You did a fantastic job stirring up nostalgia yet leaving it open ended for future possiblities. Maybe that's why I want more! :)
Stopped by from Write on Edge
I liked the wistfulness of this. And, of course, I would kill for a beach house!
ReplyDeleteI could really feel how much Maggie loves this house, the way she was touching it, the way she remembered the old times and the way she wanted to create new memories. Sigh. Hey, I would love to have such a house too, who wouldn't? :-)
ReplyDelete