Write on Edge (formerly The Red Dress Club) has us writing just a wee bit of microfiction this week. "Write a story of your choice. The catch? Write it as a tweet. Use only 140 characters – including spaces."
Clutching his arm, he fell. Walt's wife dialed 911, but he was gone. Holding his hand, saying good-bye she found his winning lottery ticket.
(140 characters, including spaces & punctuation, on the nose!)
I haven't written microfiction in months and it was so much fun to play with a story inside of 140 characters again. If you can tweet, you can write along with us this week. Can't wait to see what uber short tales are told!
What an excellent job! So much going on here - fear, mourning, and then we are left with conflicted celebration... kudos!
ReplyDeleteHmm, at least he left something behind? Could this be a reaction to good news or something more suspicious?
ReplyDeleteI was getting prepared to be sad and then BAM! the ending changed me from imagining my own beloved husband dying to imagining some ass I didn't like dying and me and hubby are rich! Nice! All that is left is for me to remove the knife from Walt, wipe it for fingerprints, dispose of the body... ;)
ReplyDeletewhat a full story in such a short space! great job!
ReplyDeleteKaren, I loved this. It was perfect....hoping this sentence is the beginning of a very fun short story!!! (Or novel) ;)
ReplyDeleteOoh, this was great...so much sadness in so few words.
ReplyDeleteGreat job :)
Nicely done!
ReplyDelete*Perfectly* done!
Well done! Reminds me of the Alanis Morrisette song "Ironic".
ReplyDeleteBAM! I feel sorry for Walt not getting to enjoy the money but at least she'll be taken care of. He was probably one of those who played diligently too...
ReplyDeleteGood story! :)
Oooh, rich and widowed! Let the shenanigans begin!
ReplyDeleteVictoria beat me to it, but as soon as I read this, Alanis Morrisette popped into my head singing, "Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?" Great job with this! I love the feeling of mystery at the end, wondering how she'll react to that lottery ticket...if she'll celebrate and didn't really love Walt, or if it'll just be emptiness because she didn't get to share it with him.
ReplyDeleteI loved this!
Heck yeah! Did she ever really love him? Can she not claim the lottery ticket now? Was he going to give all the money to charity? Love it!
ReplyDeleteA surprise twist in 140!
ReplyDeleteGah! Ironic, indeed! But... at least a little bit of hope in all the sadness, I suppose..?
ReplyDeleteGood story! I love the ending. Did the winning ticket cause the heart attack I wonder.
ReplyDeleteI can not believe the highs, the lows, the directions this story travels all in 140 characters! Amazing!
ReplyDeleteAmazing! Incredible that you can tie in such a twist in such a short story. :)
ReplyDeleteExcellent twist. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! So much in so little. Hope the lottery money leads to a better life....
ReplyDeleteGreat job!! Hope to see you build a short story out of this one day. Would love to read what happens next.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwwww poor both of them!!! You've made me feel so much here.
ReplyDeleteNice little twist. This could be the beginning of a great short story. Or the end...
ReplyDeleteOoooh, loved this one.
ReplyDeleteOh what a great story!! Such creativity we have in our group!
ReplyDeleteMY GOD I love your writing!
ReplyDeleteThis was INSANE!
Fun! Was she sad or happy he died? I love having drama then a big fat question mark. This was great.
ReplyDeleteYou told an entire twilight zone type story in 140 characters. Amazing. Godo stuff. Glad I found this. Thanks for finding mine.
ReplyDeleteI love this~!
ReplyDeleteNice job! And no "R" for are and "U" for you, like I stick in every tweet.
ReplyDeleteI can't seem to say many poignant things in 140 characters.
This is brilliant!
This is great - I'm so impressed that you got in both the build-up and the twist in so few characters.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
OMG - I'm sitting here jaw dropped! FANTASTIC! So sad and so crazy and so AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
Nicely done! So many questions. Did the lottery ticket make her forget her grief? Did she really feel grief to begin with? Does the lottery ticket make her more sad since he won't be around to enjoy the winnings with her? Maybe you should consider expanding?
ReplyDeleteLoved this! So sad. I love the twist at the end.
ReplyDeleteoooh I like it. Very unusual. Thanks for stopping by the blog today!
ReplyDeleteOH, I was ready to cry, but then you knew we'd want to do that, so in a stroke of genius, you put a twist on the end. Very nice job! Love your 140 character story.
ReplyDeleteAnd, that you for stopping by my blog.
Wow! SO much to this story! Heart attack? Loss? Bittersweet joy? I totally love it! Well done :D
ReplyDeleteawesome. Well done! so much wonder in those 140 characters. thanks for visiting my blog too!
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