Once upon a time, in the Land of Tallers and Smallers, a young girl followed her mother into Whole Foods. She was given free reign and hopped her way through the produce department. Her long golden hair bounced off her back as she lept from sunny oranges to cherry red apples to prickly pineapples to green zucchinis to crimson red bell peppers.
As she danced about her favorite colors of the rainbow, her eyes set upon a deep purple orb. Small hands stretched out to grasp a mysterious vegetable, whispering her name. She raised it high, calling out, "Please, Mama? It's purrrrr-ple! Please?!" Smiling her mother replied, "Yes, Princess." Into their basket went the gorgeous ball grown from the ground.
Returning to their castle, carrots, red onion, and the beautiful purple orb find themselves sliced and grated into a large bowl, where they meet up with two tablespoons of sugar.
While the vegetables soften under the sweet, the Taller places olive oil, red wine vinegar, salt, pepper, and chopped green onion or shallot upon the counter for the Smaller Princess to make the dressing.
After a couple hours of the clock pass, the Smaller pours on the dressing as the Taller gives the Purple Cabbage Salad a thorough mix.
The Tallers and the Smallers - including one Princess - of this castle devour this crisp delight all year round. And what left overs the Tallers can keep the Smallers from gobbling up, are even more delicious the next day, and the day after that.
The End.
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Side note: The Queen of this castle made this once before without sugar and while there was plenty of taste, it is far far crunchier. The sugar softens the cabbage as it 'cooks' it and the King insists the sugar is necessary. So, in this Land it all depends on who is slicing and grating when the vegetables first meet. Thankfully, they can meet in the middle and keep the sugar to hopefully, a non-obscene amount - a li'l less than two tablespoons for a large batch when she makes it, a li'l more when he makes it.