Monday, June 11, 2012

Just how much do we really know about the other?

My husband and I have been together for fourteen years now as we come up on our twelfth anniversary of marriage.  And while I like to think I know every bit about about him, I didn't know him until a little over fifteen years ago.  So there were a whole lot of years and experiences that grew him into the man he is today, causing him to think this way or that....same goes for me.

My closest friends, those rockin' awesome Four Musketeers, have been a part of my life for twenty-two to twenty-four years (depending on the Musketeer).  All these years later, they are my sisters, Aunties to my kidlets, and who know more about me than most.

Yet, just how much do any of us really know about another human being, no matter how tight the relationship is?

Nine point nine times out of ten, I can predict what my husband or any of those three women, my Musketeers, would do, say, or think in any given situation.  But, there are those moments that I whip my head back hard for a complete, "Say what?!" moment.

Logic tells me that that point one moment stems from some other event or interaction in their life which guides them to that unpredictable (to me) direction they've headed in.  And rational thinking reminds me of a moment in the last year when one of my Musketeers was painting my nails a requested black.  She said something to the effect of her knowing all there is to know about me, to which I replied, "You don't know everything."

Truth is, she does know most everything.  But, even as close as we are, I don't think anyone ever discloses their whole soul.

Do you?  Would there be any surprises lurking for even those closest to you?

This post is inspired by mystery thriller GONE GIRL by Gillian Flynn. They may not have the perfect marriage, but after Amy goes missing, Nick becomes the number one suspect. Can he discover what happened before it's too late? Join From Left to Write on June 12 as we discuss Gone Girl. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Book links are affiliate links.


  1. My husband and I are celebrating nine years together this Thursday and I delight in still being surprised by him.

  2. I agree with Melissa. I think there's great delight in the little surprises. As long as they're nothing like Amy's...

  3. I always say there is secret behavior that is something that is all mine. Something my guy doesn't know, something my kid doesn't know. I think the need to keep a small part of you is very, very valuable and needed in any type of relationship. It's not a duplicitous sneaky thing but rather a way to preserve the thing that makes you, well you.

  4. i take comfort in the 99.9% of knowing and being known. i need that assurance when i have to face unexpected challenges and surprises from things outside my control.

  5. I think we all have a few secrets - maybe not as twisted as Nick and Amy - but secrets all the same.

  6. as well as you think you know someone, i feel like you only know what they want you to know. like Amy was real good, masterful, at presenting and carrying on an image. Even Nick had to second guess himself sometimes. that bothers me but also comforts me. not sure if i want to be TOTALLY known. i like some mysteriousness.


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